When I started my journal here about one year ago, I expressed my whishes to serve Miss Honey online and for her to help me on my journey ahead. She felt so friendly and caring and right to take me on the path to my future. To share the steps we would take together was something I felt I needed very much. But there were also things I could offer to her. Things I know she enjoyed over the year. She made sure that two lessons were very clear to me. The first was that I should always be absolutely honest about my feelings and thoughts. The second is that the intention of my actions was much more important that the result. The lessons are not only the cornerstone of a good relationship, inside this world and the other, but also a valuable lesson for life.
We both knew, but I hated to recognize this, that there would be a time when the distance between us would become a barrier. Throughout the time, Miss Honey has known that by guiding me, she also guided me away from her. She enjoyed my education, I hope, but at the end there was something to be educated for. And it was not her, unless I could find a life in Southern California - which is not a bad prospect, albeit unrealistic. So the time would come that we would part. As Domiant and submissive. Not as humans, not as friends. Because the distance had never been a barrier for us to come together emotionally. And what we share does not end with our D/s relationship. It continues to be a part of the lifes we live.
The things we experienced together were very deep. Very touching. Very real. That an online relationship could not be real, is just not true. You can only experience that by enliving it and feeling the hurt when you have to part. I do not whish to express much of the very hard conversation Miss Honey and I had last week on Tuesday night. She wanted to play with me, but I had to tell her I would meet another woman, a Domme closeby. And that it would be serious. I struggled more than she did. But it did hurt for the both of us. I know she cried. And I know I was feeling sick and sad. It is never good to hurt someone you love. And I do love her, I still do, and I always will.
The good thing is that all Miss Honey helped me develop, all the wonderful parts of the journey I shared with you, for her knowledge and pleasure, will live on in real life. What Miss Honey shared with me, and the love and affection she gave to me, were not in vein. It is charished by another woman, and most of all by me. Without this wonderful time together I am sure I would never blossem as I may now. Miss Honey told me to jump. And fortunately there are always opportunities to jump to... and for... and from.
Only if...
"If you would have lived here... well... this would not be an issue... as you would be home washing my panties... with a big toy in your bottom making sure my new flogger was hung up properly, so I could use it tonight" Miss Honey told me.
And so it would have been... I love you and I hope you forgive me the struggling with my thoughts to write this down for you, Miss Honey. Please...
3 comments:
Acker,
HUGS, and to you too Miss Honey. I know this is hard, believe me I know. When you come together and there is everything in front of you to learn and grow and experience, it seems it can go on forever, but in reality, you are 100 percent right Acker, if your life can't be in southern CA, then, all of this was to gear you toward something else in your future, and together you both learned and grew. It is never easy to close off one part of the relationship. I hope that you two share the same friendship you did before, and during.
Acker, it sounds like you have potential at a face to face D/s and if that is the case, I am very happy for you.
HUGS to you both, embrace the change but don't lose your friendship even as you let go of this part.
This is so very sad, but happy too. You and i were brother and sister in submission, I helped you as you two came together, and you helped me by submitting to me that night, and all of this helping we did for each other, and the help from Miss Honey, led us down another path.
Acker, will you be keeping this blog and writing about your future adventures, or starting a new one perhaps?
Marie
I love you and always will. I know you will make me proud as you move forward on this new journey.
acker,
I learned quite some time ago through our brief online interactions that both you and Miss Honey are truly wonderful people.
I hope that the pain you are both feeling right now eases, and that you both find someone truly wonderful to continue your personal journeys with.
M
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